


I've been waiting for You

by lilybluee



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, rather soft adults in love, soft boys in love, very sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 15:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16221770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilybluee/pseuds/lilybluee
Summary: A chance meeting with his college crush has Hoseok reevaluating the past five years of his life.





	I've been waiting for You

**Author's Note:**

> [K. by Cigarettes After Sex](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4sbDxR22z4) is what kicked my inspiration.

❆

 

It’s a coincidence, really. A fluke. The work of fates.

Hoseok just wanted his ramen, cheap and nostalgic (maybe stale) ramen. This was a bad day (it started with him stubbing his toe and getting scolding coffee over his lap, his dick survived thank God, he should consider praying from now on).

Cheap stale ramen usually does the trick, getting him in a relatively better mood, warming him to his deepest core, renewing his will to tackle his problems again, mother raised no quitter _let’s go let’s go let’s go–_

But alas, it seems things won’t be the same this time.

Hoseok knows he’s not dreaming, or hallucinating, because his thighs are still very tender from the burn, and the whole visual thing is too – _real_. So yeah, he’s not dreaming. Or hallucinating.

He wishes he were though.

Fate just had to do it, throwing him in front of his college crush as they both reached for the same pack of ramen, as if there weren't a whole aisle that could supplement Hoseok’s needs for the rest of his miserable life, or for the next two years at least.

Hoseok doesn’t let go of the ramen because mother raised no quitter. Hyunwoo does though. He retreats his hand, looks at Hoseok, looks at the ramen, looks at Hoseok.

Looks at Hoseok.

“Uhh…hello?” Hyunwoo says uncertainly, as if he expects someone to jump out and scream ‘ _you just got praaaanked, congratulations, here have your balloon.’_

It’s comical, but heart-wrenchingly so, because it’s been years. Five years to be exact. Five years and Hoseok just wanted his ramen, not to get _feelings_ fucking him up on one monday evening in front of his _former_ crush that bring to the surface cherished bittersweet memories and those better not be tears –

“Hoseok?” Hyunwoo waves his hand to get Hoseok’s attention, gesture so cute, so… _Hyunwoo_. It’s him. He might’ve gotten bigger and gruffer, but it’s him, it’s him.

“You remember my name?”

Hyunwoo looks offended. “Of course, Hoseok, Hoseokkie, muscle rabbit, equal parts protein bars and tears, gentle soul, maybe too gentle,” he smiles, and it _is_ him.

He hugs him, brief, tight, everything Hoseok wishes in life.

“It’s been a minute.” Correction, it’s been five years.

Hoseok’s hand hangs on still to Hyunwoo’s jacket but none of them comment on it. It’s a habit, and habits never die.

“Can I hug you again?” Hyunwoo asks shyly, and this time it’s Hoseok’s turn to step forward and wrap his arms around Hyunwoo’s middle.

The familiar smell is overwhelming. Hoseok is overwhelmed and he wants to cry, but he saves it for later.

“Of all places, I can’t believe this is where I had to find you.” Hyunwoo makes a vague gesture with his arms. “Ramen never change, I guess.”

Hoseok doesn’t notice he’s been staring until Hyunwoo waves at him again. “I see that hasn’t changed as well. You being in the clouds and departing earth.” His eyes soften and his smile strikes Hoseok very deep.

Someone passes them with their cart. Hoseok doesn’t turn to see. It’s just him and Hyunwoo with tears welling up in his eyes.

It takes him back, the hand holding his, rubbing gently his skin. It takes him back to their graduation day, _love you_ and _will_ _miss you_ chocking him as he watched with limp arms Hyunwoo moving further and further away from him.

He still doesn’t understand why he was never able to open his mouth and voice them out. That mistake has been haunting him for years.

Later in his car, with doors locked and windows rolled up, Hoseok rests his head against the steering wheel. He’s alone now with the comfort of the darkness and the quiet interior of his car. He never thought reminiscing about their broke college days with Hyunwoo would rouse such painfully dry melancholy all over. It sucks, whatever weighting down his chest, heavy and murky and urging his tears to let loose. He misses them, those days as they were newly breaching the adulthood territory. He misses his friends. He misses leading a careless life, doing fucked up shit and trying to poorly fix said fucked up shit.

He misses the cute coffee shop near campus where his former college crush used to work at, spouting casual conversations and bonding over their preference for marshmallows in their coffees.

He misses the laughs and the silly jokes, Hyunwoo’s undivided attention on him in the earlier hours of the day while he listened thoughtfully to Hoseok’s ambitious dreams, adding a casual _I’ll always be there to cheer for you, you’ll do great I can feel it on this beautiful spring day, don’t forget about me once you get famous, the guy who served you coffee with marshmallows,_ finishing it off with his signature smile.

The dryness aggravates. Hoseok steps on the gas pedal with all his might, back to his cold lifeless apartment.

 

 ❆

 

So he forgot. He’s an idiot, he’s aware.

He was so caught up in the whole _oh my fucking god, my crush, what to do, where to start, what to say!_ that he forgot to ask for any medium to stay in contact.

After a drawn thirty minutes of beating himself for having this important detail flying over his head, Hoseok slumps down on his couch with his face pressed into the soft fabric, the knot in his chest binding tight, painful and unsettling his guts.

Maybe it’s for the better. It probably won’t do him any good, dwelling still on this whole college crush matter, thinking about reconnecting with the days of five years ago. Going forward is always the right way to proceed. The past is the past, and those memories have no business resurfacing in the present. They’re painfully beautiful for a reason, that’s why they’re called memories.

That’s why Hoseok holds dearly to them. That’s why he likes to spend eons in the clouds while they flash through the hazy blue of the skies.

Hoseok chokes on thin air, and he jostles up from the couch. Hyunwoo is probably married by now. He probably has kids too. And a cat.

He must be. Hyunwoo has always expressed his desire for a family of his own, since earlier in their days together. A spouse with kids and dozens of cats, that’s what he always said, and Hoseok lamenting in his head that he’ll never get that spouse title.

He can’t just barricade himself into Hyunwoo’s life and expect for an empty spot awaiting him. That’d be too selfish of him. Just because his love life is almost non-existent doesn’t mean he should expect others to be on the same boat.

Hoseok squeezes his eyes shut and his feet thud towards his wardrobe to get him in his workout gear and head out for an early morning run.

Time to exert himself into oblivion. No way in hell is he falling into the pit of self-pity. He’s spent an enough amount of his living days there already. Time to bounce up and pretend to have his life under belt, pretend until it becomes true.

Hoseok knows he’s done the right thing when the early cool breeze filters through his lungs and flushes the tarnished thoughts down the drain. He knows he’s done the right thing when his chest and teeth burn from the force of his sprints, a pleasant kind of ache settling deep in his taut muscles. He knows he’s done the right thing when he walks by the empty shore, the beach greeting him with its rippling waves and its white foam.

He’s not sure if he’s done the right thing when his eyes fall on one certain individual, a golden retriever running around his legs, down into the icy water, back to its owner’s legs and running again to get the thrown ball.

“I thought you wanted cats.”

Hyunwoo laughs. “She’s home, taking a grumpy nap. I can never get her out.”

Hoseok nods. His feet and arms do the thing, and he’s pressed again into Hyunwoo’s strong sturdy chest, the familiarity of everything, smell and embrace and smiles, confirming to him he did the right thing.

“Before I forget,” Hyunwoo fishes into his pockets until he finds his phone. “I was so happy meeting you again that I completely forgot to ask for your number.” 

Hoseok’s heart does something funny, like having a feather tickling the arteries and building this weird sensation under his ribcage, like having something right clicking in his life and he just has to press save before he loses his progress in this chain of events.

They exchange numbers, and now Hoseok is bounding with Suwon, whispering _good boy, you’re such a good boy_ whenever Suwon brings back the ball and drops it in Hoseok’s hand.

They walk and talk, walk and talk and throw for Hoseok. The world is rising and the sun is just unveiling itself. Hoseok keeps sulking that Hyunwoo is noticeably bigger than him when before the difference was slight and not as striking. Hyunwoo laughs and proclaims loudly how he’s stronger as well. He lifts Hoseok bridal style to demonstrate and Hoseok almost faints for various reasons.

A loud ringtone interrupts their short debate over whether carrots should be in salads or not. Hyunwoo apologizes before he gets the call. Hoseok busies himself with nuzzling Suwon.

“Sorry,” Hyunwoo says once he turns back to him. “My coworker just called, said something went wrong with the system, need to get there and fix it.” He sighs, wary and revealing how truly exhausted he must be.

Hoseok gives Hyunwoo an encouraging smile. Hoseok himself works as a composer and producer in this one company, so he’ll never truly get the true working of an IT engineer.

He nuzzles and kisses Suwon, hugs Hyunwoo a last time before they part again. Hoseok yells ‘G _ood luck!_ ’ and blows Hyunwoo a kiss. Hyunwoo makes a show of catching it before he puts his hand over his heart.  

And then they’re gone. Hoseok didn’t catch any sight of a ring.

 

 ❆

 

So he’s not married, nor does he have kids.

He does have a cat though.

Prairie is kind of…shy, and grumpy, very wary around him and hissing at times whenever he gets too close.

“Your cat hates me,” he pouts when he joins Hyunwoo in the kitchen.

Hyunwoo passes him the spatula and Hoseok starts stirring the vegetable soup they’re preparing together.

“She’ll get around, I promise. I adopted her from an animal shelter. She had a tough life before she came here, it took her a month to get used to the place and not hiss at me every two seconds.”

Hoseok nods. Satisfied, he places the spatula in the sink and turns off the stove.

Prairie is warmly tucked beside Suwon, black contrasting beige fur as they snooze on the living room’s carpet.

Hoseok coos at the amount of cuteness hitting him at once. “I see your children are well behaved.” 

At the lack of response, Hoseok looks curiously back at Hyunwoo, who stares at him with this glazed look in his eyes, head tilted to the side, plush lips soft and tinted a healthy red. Hoseok wonders if it was stupid of him to wear a cropped hoodie obviously not made for men.

Hyunwoo blinks and he’s back to a goofy smile, an almost unnoticeable blush spreading across his cheekbones. He goes to washing the dishes.

“I raised them well.”

Hoseok decides to set the table because he knows – _he knows_ – something just went on and he’d rather not think (not freak out) about it, at least not now.

A week later, Hoseok crashes at Hyunwoo’s place a second time.

They spend the whole afternoon talking and laughing about the Minhyuk phenomena, one of the wildest folks back in college days. Hyunwoo recounts how once he was tempted to pour bleach onto his eyes after he’d unfortunately caught a sight of Minhyuk’s dick since the guy thought it was a great idea to go streaking around campus.

Hoseok sympathizes with him for a few seconds. He laughs for the next minute.

They turn the evening into a movies night and Hoseok almost cries when Prairie goes to his side, licks his hand and urges him to pat her and grant her the attention she’s worthy of. Hoseok gathers her in his arms before he settles comfortably on the large sofa.

Suwon is very tame today, still drained from his visit to the vet. He’s lying still on the carpeted floor by Hyunwoo’s socked feet. Hoseok has a leg propped up and the other stretched over Hyunwoo’s thighs, Prairie nesting on his chest.

The skies haven’t ceased from crying today, and consequently the after rain aroma has been prominent in the open air, freshening Hoseok’s lungs whenever he takes deep breaths.

They’re one quarter into the movie when Hyunwoo subconsciously puts a hand on Hoseok’s clad calf. The heat reaches Hoseok in an instant, and he has to prevent himself from squirming at the tingles all over his skin.

Hoseok watches the screen. He also watches Hyunwoo’s ring-free hand. He pats Prairie’s dark majestic fur and whispers over her head.

“So, no significant other or anything alike?” _Smooth Hoseok, real smooth_.

Hyunwoo looks at him with such an open innocent look that a twenty-seven adult shouldn’t be capable of. He seems to be just registering Hoseok’s question because his face lights up and a smile curves his lips.

“I already have my girl with me.”

_oh_

Sure. Hoseok is happy for him, please ignore his heart clenching tight in his chest. That’s beyond him and he’ll find the cure to it. He’s _really_ happy for Hyunwoo, totally and completely.

Hyunwoo moves his hand from Hoseok’s calf to Prairie’s soft tummy.

“She’s right here.”

Hoseok makes a face. Hyunwoo chuckles, bops Hoseok’s nose and settles back on the couch. He positions Hoseok’s dangling leg higher on his lap.

“Hyunwoo, I’m serious.”

“So am I, Prairie is the only girl I know, honest to God.”

“So you’re saying-“

“That I’m an adult who’s close to his thirties with no future marriage plan or any hopeful relationship in sight?” he smiles. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

 _oh_ a second time but voiced out.

Hoseok feels so immature for having to keep in a grin, but Hyunwoo just confirmed to him what he has been (secretly) hoping for, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t perform his victory dance once in the comfort of his own apartment.

“What about you?” Hyunwoo asks back. His hand rubs lightly Hoseok’s calf. Hoseok is half distracted.

He shrugs, careful not to jostle Prairie. “It’s just me, myself and I. I’ve being too caught up in work that I haven’t considered that part of my life. I don’t want to rush things. I feel like they have the right to march at their own slow pace.”

Hyunwoo nods. The movie is forgotten and now Hoseok has Hyunwoo’s full attention.

“I feel the same. Letting life do its thing, no pressure, no chasing after because that usually doesn’t work out,” he falls quiet.

Hoseok feels the tiniest amount of pressure on his calf and he involuntary shivers. Hyunwoo catches it, catches his reaction. Something in his eyes shift and Hoseok doesn’t get to properly stare before Hyunwoo snaps his head back to the movie. His face is stoic and doesn’t betray any emotion.

They don’t talk much after that.

 

 ❆

 

They don’t hang out together for the next weeks solely because there’s too much work and too little time to get it done. They text though, a lot, and that’s enough for now.

When the occasion for a proper night out (or night in) arises, Hoseok gets alcohol and unwinds the stress from his taut muscles alongside Hyunwoo.

It’s pretty late now, so the children are asleep again. Prairie has her paws tucked beneath her, gorgeous as ever. Suwon is passed out beside her.

The low table is perfect when Hoseok rests his head on his arms. He’s not necessarily drunk. Tipsy maybe, cheeks flushed and a pleasant rush to his brain turning him into a giggly mess.

Hyunwoo has a permanent smile fixed to his lips, and that’s how Hoseok knows alcohol is getting to him too. 

He’s wearing another cropped hoodie, so the soft skin of his tummy peeks out. Hyunwoo pokes him right where his sensitive area resides, and that sends him into another fit of laughs and giggles until his back is to the floor and the ceiling is all he sees.

He hears rustling and soon Hyunwoo fills his vision.

Hyunwoo runs a hand through Hoseok’s hair, softly, gently. He looks at him and Hoseok looks back.

“Want to dance?”

Hoseok laughs. “Don’t know how to.”

“Neither do I. Let’s go.”

The next minute, Hoseok finds himself on his feet again, one hand on Hyunwoo’s shoulder and Hyunwoo’s arm around his middle. Their free hands are clasped together. The stereo hums a low indie song and Hoseok has never been this sensually entranced with someone.

Of course Hoseok steps many times on Hyunwoo’s feet, ruins the flow of their slow dancing, but they make it work, make the moment theirs, something that’ll be engraved deep within flesh and soul. It’s Hyunwoo. It’s Hoseok. They’re slow dancing, messy and incorrect, and they love it just the way it is.

Hoseok wraps his arms around Hyunwoo’s shoulders and presses their cheeks together. Hyunwoo takes hold of his waist and sways them gently.

Something chokes up Hoseok’s throat. Maybe it’s the laughs and giggles coming back to bite him in the ass, or maybe it’s the realization that he could’ve had this years and years ago, since the moment he stepped foot through that cute coffee shop near campus and met his college crush. Whatever it is, it has Hoseok spilling some silent tears. Hyunwoo senses them. His arms tighten around Hoseok.

“Can you lift me?” He whispers in Hyunwoo’s ear.

Hyunwoo’s arms unlock from Hoseok’s waist. They reach up and up and Hoseok squeals when Hyunwoo twirls them around with ease.

Hyunwoo does it again, and again. At the final round, one hand reaches up and the other reaches down and now Hoseok is being carried in Hyunwoo’s arm and his heart pulses at the base of his throat.

Hyunwoo is gentle in everything, in the way he lays him down on bed, in the way he chases away his tears, in the way he kisses him, all tender and passionate and very… _Hyunwoo_.

Very _him_ , new tears spill, and Hoseok’s hand slide up to clench Hyunwoo’s shirt in his fist, kissing back with the desire of eons camouflaged under his sleeve.

Hyunwoo moves to kiss away the tears, and it takes Hoseok some serious mental strength not to bawl like a baby because this is truly what he ever wished for, the piece of him lost in the wide obscure world and his growing helplessness that he’ll never get it back.

And now the pieces are woven together and Hyunwoo teases the soft skin of his neck with his teeth. Hoseok half-sobs, half-moans when Hyunwoo nips on one particular sensitive spot.

Hyunwoo kisses him again, deeper this time. Hoseok’s legs quiver at the growing streaks of desire threatening to flare up like wildfires.

Hyunwoo halts then and he takes the time to properly look at him, all of him.

“I’ve always wanted to take you out on an ice cream date, maybe ramen too.” He chuckles. “You were so cute, running in at six in the morning with tousled hair and mismatched socks to get your coffee with marshmallows. You were always the highlight of my days.”

Hoseok smiles. “Why didn’t you? I’m never subtle when it comes to the things I like or dislike, and you, you were someone I liked very much.”

“I know,” Hyunwoo sighs and he runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair. “I didn’t want to risk it. You were very precious, still very precious to me. I never wanted you out of my life so I never went with that risk. I’m such an idiot.”

“We both are. Idiots in love.”

They laugh. Hoseok places a peck on Hyunwoo’s lips. “We can still go on those dates, get ice cream even when it’s still freezing outside, maybe go to the ice rink so I could rescue you from falling on your butt. It’s gonna be fun.”

Hyunwoo acts as if he’s considering, as if there isn’t one obvious answer sticking out like a sore thumb.

“Sure, but I’ll have you know that I’m a professional when it comes to skating now. My butt will be fine, thank you for your concern.”

Hoseok’s lips curve in a kittenish smile. “We’ll see about that.”

And so Hyunwoo goes back to kissing him. Hoseok giggles some more.

 

❆

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me still ugly sobbing about Showho :')  
> Thank you so much for being here and taking the time to read this story <3<3  
> Please, take care :3


End file.
